A rant…From Me to You…

The Daily Prompt: From You to You  has asked us to…Write a letter to your 14-year-old self. Tomorrow, write a letter to yourself in 20 years.”

Oh baby!! Was I ever fourteen?  I can write about 40 as that’s not distant, but 14 seems so remote though I do have vivid memories to share. My sensitive and studious 14 year old self does need some sermonizing on practicalities of life but I’ll leave it for some other time.

My son should answer this prompt.  In fact, I can write on his behalf as I know him inside out. I think I do. On the contrary, maybe I don’t. He’s always been a thoroughly good boy during his schooling and now university but generally, as they grow up they have their own lives, esp. our sons. As such, in this times we all live in our own cocoon.  Particularly at young age they want to carve their future, spread out their wings so they are bust trying out new ventures and journeys.

Right now at this moment my son is in London. He went all alone for a month long academic trip to Europe. After Switzerland and Germany, he’s now in UK.

The last few weeks were anxious anyway but today I’m worried like hell, for he has not been picking up the phone since yesterday. Right now it’s midnight in London and I assume he must have been caught up in tube transport strike during the day or when coming back home late evening. Something to do with that.

When I last talked to him almost two days ago, he said he will not go out of his accommodation on Thursday as the city may get chaotic. But the whole day on Thursday, his phone was switched off, so I have no idea what’s been gong on. Due to his hectic schedule and the time-gap between the two countries, his phone calls have been generally erratic throughout his trip, but this one’s the longest disconnect we had.

Of course, all this gave me a sleepless Thursday night. On top of that, today on Friday morning, I woke up to a power shut down. It’s not usual for Sydney to go without power, but that’s what happens when you need something the most. A few hours of no electricity meant phones can’t be charged, problematic net connection and all. Finally the power is back so I’m writing all this.

Now…waiting for his phone call. Possibly he’s asleep at this time. He will wake up and call us. But I have the phone numbers of Australian Embassies ready and also that of London Police.

My husband, who is busy with his inter-state tasks, tried to contact him as well but was amused at my panic. He laughed and said …”Police. Huh! Aren’t you too worried?“

Yes I am.  For I am a mom.

So yeah… 4, 14, 21, 40, 60, 80…nothing matters as long as we are safe and alive.

mother and child

My son with his mom when he was younger, she was younger but not 14

Whether we get little miseries or bigger woes, abundant achievements or tremendous failures, small joys or exhilarating happiness, it all holds value only when we ourselves are secure, and sure of the safety of our near and dear ones.

So. What will I say to my fourteen year old self? Maybe some of the above. And more.

~~~

He called later in the day, as if nothing happened. So everything is ok now.

I can’t hold his hand anymore to keep him within my range. I should realize that it sets me free as well.

6 thoughts on “A rant…From Me to You…

  1. Alka, it is a natural instinct to worry especially for our sons and daughters but once they grow up and spread their wings, it is better to trust and value their decisions. Whatever they do, wherever they go, that will never share all that with you yet we live with the illusion that they do! Let them be! They know what they are doing, your worries don’t reach them and if you share them with them, they don’t register! Peace of mind comes when we start accepting that they are adults now, we have endowed them with the best of capabilities. Our work is over! The sooner we realise this, better it is for us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so right Balroop! Your words always give strength and a new perspective.
      Of course as they leave their teenage behind and enter adulthood, they suddenly want to feel very confident but still there is no substantial experience under their belt so they should be careful. This world is not as safe as the young people assume it to be. And yet, there has to be a first time for everything we do, and so it is for them. We do trust our children/youth, esp. when we know they are simple and academic so they won’t be knowingly on a wrong path ever. But as a parent I have this nagging worry so I call my son often and expect a return call.

      Like

  2. A mother (I like to believe) does know her own flesh and blood. Keep up with the “nagging”, it is nothing else, but sweet love.

    Like

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