For Those Who Do Not Come Back

It now seems to me she will never come back. Going by the quiet on her blog, it’s almost as if she has never been here before, writing all those blog posts like possessed. There was somebody writing and if she said it was her, we sincerely believed it was indeed some Elfie writing.

But then again, in this online world, how can we be sure we really know the person expressing his/her thoughts in words. The fact is, most bloggers have not met each other personally. At the same time, we do know their distinct personality, for their written words help us peep into their soul, till it seems we have known them for long. But when our fellow bloggers vanish from the scene, they become strangers. We almost do not care. In blogging world, (our) presence matters more than absence.

That’s what happened when Elfie suddenly disappeared from thescene. No one knew where she’s gone. We, the usual everyday enthusiasts who eagerly commented on her posts did not know how to trace her. We can’t chase the leavers, can we? We can’t tell them, “Please don’t stop blogging!”  After all, bloggers come and bloggers go. It’s a norm here. Generally speaking, their sudden absence means fewer posts to read and also one less comment on our own posts.

Therefore, my curiosity in Elfie’s absence is just that – a simple curiosity. It can never became an actual concern. Truly speaking it wasn’t as if Elfie was really the regular types. She was always around her blog but always on the verge of vanishing. One could expect her to not show up one day.

People are sometimes just uncomfortable being around. They need a change, so they do the vanishing act. We all have heard of people who simply go missing. Unable to find their way around familial problems and expectations, they run away from home. May be to find themselves. More often than not they are unable to return back.  Not because they do not want to, but even when they realize that the world they impulsively left behind was better than their new path, they feel shy of coming back. How will they show their runaway face to the world? These lost souls often go around their family house to have a glimpse but never dare to enter. Their families wait for them forever.

And so it won’t be far-fetched to assume that Elfie may never come back.  Possibly she’s caught up in something unavoidable. Probably she has lost all her motivation and confidence to write. Then again, she could very well be lurking around the corner, unable to join in.  In any case, even if she doesn’t come back, her blog will continue to exist. Short-lived in its charm like some freshly plucked flower that’s now a part of an indoor flower arrangement. Untended and raw like some gaping wound, open and sore that will finally go dry. The bees and flies that occasionally lose their way to Elfie’s blog will gradually stop hovering over it. The statistics will slowly show near-zero visitors.

That’s how life is. When someone is a regular part of our life, we don’t imagine them going away. Once they depart, and once we have experienced the ensuing unease and vacuum, we move on quickly.  We get used to living without the very people we think we cannot live without.

But now that we all are pretty much used to Elfie-less blogosphere, I fear she will come back. It’s not always easy to accommodate those who have gone missing from our lives, esp. if too much time has lapsed. Much as we miss our dear ones who passed over to the other side long ago, what if they come back and we get to live with them again?  Share the same house, vacate their room, give them back their wardrobe and give them all the love that has partially dried off or changed in intensity.  We terribly missed their voice when we lost them but, with previous vibes lost, talking to them again could feel shaky and uncomfortable.

And so I feel if at all Elfie wants to come back to the blogging world, let it be sooner rather than later. Things-we-lose-have-a-way-of-coming-back-to-us-in-the-endLet it be now.  Now, when she would still be comfortable coming back.  Now, when we still remember her writing style. Now, before we forget her to the point of no return.

Moreover, it’s not really unusual for lost things and people to find their way back. To be found again. Or be lost again.
(This is my come back post after absence of more than a month.  Am I then this Elfie? We all are)

23 thoughts on “For Those Who Do Not Come Back

  1. There is that roadhouse “middle of nowhere” vibe about blogging. Weary travelers stop in – sometimes they sit at the bar every night – sometimes once a week – and sometimes they don’t come back. While are together, we share drinks and stories – we all feel better. But this is the wild west where heroes and gunslingers become famous and then fade like the dust on the trail. — I love that and hate that about blogging.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Your analogy of a roadhouse in the “middle of nowhere” is so apt for blogging, in fact for all social media. Getting rid of loneliness by being in the crowd while remaining lonely in this crowd. I could visualize a bar full of weary travelers…enjoying…sharing…moving on…
      There are parallels between real life and virtual world. Hero worship and forcefulness do work here, after which there is illusion of success followed by disillusionment with this very success.

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      • Success? Do not try to dance with her out here – that can only lead to heartbreak – write a few posts – make a few friends and relax a bit before hitting the trail. It’s the best we can to —anywhere.

        Liked by 1 person

    • All that you say is true. This absence becomes bearable with practice. Migrating to other countries makes us deft in such practices, but funny that when we get used to living without relatives and friends, they again come back into our lives.

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  2. Life is full of surprises…some may not come back because they can’t, not necessarily that they don’t want to. Then, there are some who come and go, then come back. I think it depends on what’s going on in their life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly so! Various moods and circumstances of life take over. Social media is not just about writing but also plenty of reading and commenting, so time is a big factor here.
      People who do not come back…such people exist in blogging world but also in other situations where people part ways towards their own destination.

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  3. This was such a great write on the notion of moving on. Loved how you blended bloggers abandoning their blogs and real life scenarios of people walking in and out of our lives. It is hard to trust bloggers since we can never be sure who is the real person behind the words and photos we see. Yet we feel a bit lost when a blogger we often see disappears for a bit. I’ve encountered that here with some blogs, and I do hope the voices behind these blogs are doing okay. These days, bloggers usually engage with a few forms of social media, so we can probably catch up with them there too.

    “We get used to living without the very people we think we cannot live without.” This phrase reminds me of a phrase I say quite a bit, “You get used to it”. Change is always around us. People come and go in our lives – naturally because all of us choose to take different paths with different goals. Which is probably why it’s so hard to believe in love, trust and forever 🙂

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    • Thank you Mabel! This was just an outpour in a casual and semi-humorous way…but in general, somehow I can’t help comparing the two – real life and blogging. It’s of course general courtesy and humane quality to be worried about anyone gone missing. Otherwise what’s the use of all this community.

      Such phrases as the one you use are catchy 🙂 I hope I don’t start using it. There’s also a song by Justin Beiber “Get used to it”. And of course change is inevitable. Ever changing life priorities make us drift apart, and one should feel blessed with whatever little anyone has to offer to us. ‘Forever’ should be replaced by ‘here’ and ‘now’ 🙂

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      • There is such a great community here on WP. So respectful, so welcoming, so accommodating. I think a lot of us see each other as friends on here and are perhaps more honest with each other than with those we see face to face each day.

        Wouldn’t it be nice if people stayed in our lives forever? Of course, sometimes that can be the case, but most of the time I think we should appreciate who we have in a given moment in time 🙂

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        • True Mabel! That’s what makes it too addictive and often time consuming too…sometimes at the cost of real life. I was successful in breaking this addiction by neither writing nor reading any posts for more than a month. Will try to read some posts now, as and when possible.
          Yes, live in the moment and count our blessings 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  4. So TRUE, my dear Elfie…where did she soar? I missed her very much, wondering what happened! Did she find more precious perches? Didn’t she like us…many thoughts crossed my mind. In fact I came here twice to check.
    Thanks for returning dear friend. We love you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • We all are birds flying from pillar to the post, only to keep returning back to a true source of care and inspiration. Blogging, with all its loving friends like you, is a gift from God. Thanks to all of you for so much love and encouragement. Elfie too missed you all and is here to stay : )

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I wrote a post about something similar a couple of months ago and it amazed me the amount of response that post got. I called it ‘Missing In Action, Have You Seen Him?’ I had grown pretty used to and close to a blogger and suddenly they upped and vanished into thin air. I worried a whole lot because his last posts sounded quite dire. I went to his blog and it had become private. It was just sad for me not knowing if he had harmed himself as he alluded and I was not in any position to reach out and help him. It’s a community where we meet people whom we don’t know and we form tentative bonds with them.

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  6. Pingback: Where Do you Go? My lovely | Magnanimous Word

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