4 signs that show the news is incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic.

So. You’ve got news.  You think the news is incredible.  But don’t get excited as yet.
Upon hearing the news if you find yourself doing all or some of the things I am stating below, only then interpret the news to be truly incredible, amazing and wonderfully fantastic.
Otherwise rule it out to be just an ordinary low-impact news.

1).  Your body language tells your excitement. You may jump up and down with utter joy.  Possibly with both arms and hands raised up. Your eyes may widen and your pupils expand.  Eyes look bright and big, full of awe. Your mouth wide open, you may even place your hands on either side of your face, holding your face you may slap the cheeks lightly while uttering something exciting.

2). Your voice and language shriek of joy.  Your voice will be full of excitement.
Your mouth may open up in a big ‘Awweee”  or  “Wowwww” or  “I just can’t believe that!!!” as you separately emphasize each word/syllable of the above statement. You may say, “Yesss” as you simultaneously pound your fist downwards in the air.
Dazed in disbelief, you may even pinch yourself just to make you believe you are not dreaming and the news is in fact real.

3).  You fold your hands in a prayer pose.  This might be an instantaneous reaction. You may close your eyes while your head tilts down as if bowed. Hands clenched together you will murmur again and again “Thank God!! Thank God!! Thank God for that !!”.  If you happen to have a prayer room/corner in your house, you may run towards it and sit bowed down in gratitude while praying incoherently not knowing what to say.

3). You run here and there, not knowing what to do.  You will immediately feel like sharing the news but don’t know whom to tell it first.  You may rush out looking for a friendly neighbor in sight.  Not seeing anyone, you come back in, pick the phone and call the person closest to you. Could be your parents, husband/wife or a close friend.  Once shared, the next step will be planned with friends and family, after which you ease down a bit.

If you do not feel any of the above symptoms and behaviors, if you are just unmoved on hearing some news then either this news is not that great or it was not life-changing for you, or else was not connected to your personal life. For e.g; if your neighbor’s sister (who lives overseas) had a son or if your friend’s daughter got a wonderful job. She tells you but you just smile and congratulate her lightly. In fact you may get slightly envious of her if your own daughter wears corporate every second day but only for a futile job interview.

But, if you sincerely believe you’ve ever reacted like above to any news you’ve ever received then – Count Your Blessings.

After all, it’s not everyday you are going to receive news that is so incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic, in short…Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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That was my response to The Daily Post's writing prompt:
 Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It says: 
"You get some incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic news.
What’s the first thing you do?

~~~ ~~~

I write in various genres serious as well as humorous. This time I tried writing in the current style of….”6 things to do if you have broken your head..”,  “9 signs that show you have teeth problems...”

Moreover, after writing some serious poems last week, I wanted something light-hearted. For more humor, read my previous writings Laughing Matters , You always believed in me and Request Denied

header pic source

© All rights reserved by alkagirdhar.wordpress.com 2015

 

My Best (est) Friend

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Our friends from virtual world play a significant role in our lives but in such a subtle manner that we do not even realize. When we read about other people’s life stories or see their online pictures, we too transform, either negatively or positively. Negatively when we start assuming that every other person’s life is better than ours, which may not be the case. Mostly it is a positive change because we learn so much from our online friends, without even stepping out of our house.

So, responding to the prompt  FiresideChat, I can very well say that after reading such inspiring blogs by sensitive caring writers, it would be a privilege to meet them in real. There are two emphatic female bloggers I particularly felt affinity to but I may never get to see them.

My conclusion is, that if at all we wish to see our virtual-world friends in real life, then it is better to do so at the earliest possible because if we do not meet them for a long time, then seeing them face-to-face at some later stage turns out to be a case of either faulty perceptions and impressions, or else the rapport doesn’t build up.  They may seem very different in reality and thereafter we lose them off-line as well as online.  So, if at all you wish to see them for real, never leave it for too long. Otherwise be happy being online friends.

And yes, while there are many people in my life whom I would like to know better, would like to have a personal chat with them by the fire-side…there is specifically one person I heartily wish to know better.  Today, as I talk about her, I feel I do know her very well and yet do not know her enough.

What happens is that as soon as I am sure I know her, and have formed a confirmed opinion about her that she is like this, or she is like that…then soon she seems very different.  Confuses me.  Drives me crazy.  The very issues and habits in her that appeal me today, do not appeal me the very next day.  Sometimes she is totally feminine, like some insecure girl rather than being a woman.  And then she is changed the next day, confident as can be, beyond recognition.

That is why I want her to tell me about her inner fears, hidden wishes and desires that she doesn’t tell anyone.  I want to sit and listen to what she has to say as only I can be her best friend. This much I know.  This heart-to-heart chat will also improve our relation.

The fact is, I see her every day.  She’s there with me very often though sometimes even when she’s physically with me, she’s away in her her own world, her cocoon.

Have you guessed by now that I am talking about myself?  I would like to meet myself face-to-face and talk. I would like to observe myself, by going outside of me…judge myself objectively in a detached way.  I want to communicate with myself to get the inner self-realization about my purpose in life.

I want to know myself more than what others know about me.  Mostly, others define who I am.  My childhood friends and siblings remind me that I was like this or that, and I believe them.   My mother tells me I am like this and I completely trust that she knows much more about me than I myself do. Thus I get approvals and certificates from everyone known so as to conveniently define my behavior and adapt my future goals as per their previous set expectations.

Till now, my community and society defined my life for me.  What was charted out for me by the capitalist materialistic world was meant to be followed during my teens and younger age. Now, as a mature woman, I would like to sit with myself and have a heart-to-heart chat about her (my) life that she had till now. I want to know what she (me) wants to do with the rest of her life, so as to make the most of it.  I want to know her (me) through my eyes not this world’s eyes. I want her to re-discover her hopes, her strengths, her passions, her beauty, her inner truth. I want to heal her of any hurt that I myself have given to her.

I will soon chat with my bestest friend and share it with you all.

My above thoughts are for my own self-realization but they need to be applied by all human beings at various stages of life. And as said by one Doris Mortman, ‘Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.’

*****

That was my response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt:  FiresideChat.

“What person whom you don’t know very well in real life — it could be a blogger whose writing you enjoy, a friend you just recently made, etc. — would you like to have over for a long chat in which they tell you their life story?”

© All rights reserved 2015

 

A Stranger In Need Is a Friend Indeed

. Some time ago I did learn some practical lessons which changed and re-changed my long held feelings and attitudes. I will narrate my experience of the times when I had felt that a bird in hand was worth two in a bush.

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Few years ago, after joining Facebook, I had got too involved with my re-discovered friends from my childhood as well as youth. Of course they were not in school, college or university anymore, but to me they were the same. We were all a bunch of cronies almost approaching middle-age but talking in a childish manner, recollecting our old times, reminding each other about every intricate detail of our younger days spent together. We compared our looks as to who looks older or younger even after so many years. Meaningless talks that had deep meaning for all of us.

My school mates discussed trivial things like who used to get more marks in what subject, who was better in music and who was sporty, also who has done well in life now and who has fallen short of school time expectations. University mates wrote about fun times. How we could tirelessly walk very long distances to go to our favorite haunts and eateries, all the places we used to throng and the way we would enter the classroom eating a snack, only to annoy the lecturers.

I knew each one of my childhood friend very well so I had started spending a lot of time targeting and planning my posts to please and suit my friend’s individual tastes and choice; say the songs, jokes, philosophical quotes or when putting up pictures from our old times or even current pics.

Today I know it is a sadly futile exercise. When thinking about our future, we are dreamy-eyed as we visualize some distant unseen path but going backwards in time is all about living in our bygone past that was real once upon a time but cannot be again, esp. if we all live so far away in different cities.

And yet, after joining Facebook, such extreme was the nostalgia and euphoria that I was perpetually living in the past, hooked to FB during my morning cuppa, during any free time during the day, and at the very last moment before retiring to bed.  I had almost forgotten that I had moved to a new neighborhood in my current city and I need to develop friendships with people next door. They invited me for some function but I went half-heartedly and came back. If my neighbors asked me why I was never seen outside my home even on a holiday, my excuse was that I have been busy. Of course the fact was, my heart was content yapping with my old pals.

But soon I had realized that the bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

During the above phase, my son who had just finished high school had started going to his new university by local train. One busy day he got himself into trouble. When boarding his train from the train station close to our home, he fell on the train track (how that happened is a different story).  A fast running train had passed next to him while he was still on the track clinging to the wall. It was a terrifying moment when I got a call from his fellow passenger. Away for work, I was nowhere near his train station and in those moments all I could think of is to call the family who lived next to our house. Indeed, the generous husband and wife pair, who were at home that day, went running to the train station to help my son. They brought him back home, looked after the obviously shaken young boy till he was balanced and till we parents came back.

After this incident, I was suddenly woken up from my nostalgic reverie. I reminded myself that I must come back to my real life. I can’t spend any more time recollecting and remembering old times spent ages ago with old friends, that too at the cost of my current life. I live so far away. My world has nothing in common with them anymore.

Hence I began focusing on my friends within my own city as only they can help me in my times of need whereas my online friends and overseas relatives are only good for moral support.

~~~

It was a wise decision that I did stick to for some time. Whereas once it was all about old friends and about arranging reunions, thereafter I had absolutely stopped bothering about them, almost a total boycott with my re-discovered pals who were once my life.

It took me some time before I could learn to calmly balance the bygone world with my current life. Nowadays I don’t boycott my old friends but I know that my priority has to be towards my present life as it is, good or bad.

The lessons learnt continue to be applied to all social media, be it blogging or whatsapp. I now always take an informed decision, that I do not have to make it such an addiction that I forget to live my real life.

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Old Friends – Stale Mates or Bosom Buddies?

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“That is the land of lost content, I see it shining plain
The happy highways where I went and cannot come again”

(…excerpt from a poem by A. E. Housman)

Men and women in 40 plus age group, esp. those who live far away from their birth place or homeland, have seen it all. A sudden rediscovery of old-time friends (and sometimes old relatives) on social media, followed by emotional reunions and confused reliving of all our old selves. It’s as if we have gone back in time. The dead characters come alive after 20 or 30 long years. These people are special to us. They are our old friends and hold value for us.

Old friends, like old swords, still are trusted best, said John Webster. Old friends can also be compared to old wine, old rice or even old jaggery. All these are reputed to be of best quality as they have ripened slowly, while standing the test of time before they became fine. They do not go rancid and they serve their purpose at all times. So it seems and so we want to believe. 587d16f6f957d70dbc96108d61d124bfOther than this, very old friends bring back memories of a precious phase of our life – our childhood and early youth, our aimless giggling, fights and reconciliations, our sharing of life dreams and goals. Meeting these pals again in life is like looking into a mirror and we come face to face with our raw self.

All this may be true but there is another side to it. We can also compare old friends to old coins or to some very old piece of jewellery; items best used only for their vintage value, meant to be treasured and to be kept in one’s safe wallet or a locker. We never use old coins and we can’t wear very old-fashioned jewellery every day. Keep aside the antiques and relish them as per time and will. As per this logic, very old-time friendships are valuable but not real as they are not current, not hands-on. They exist more in our imagination. Harshly speaking, they are somewhat like some used paper napkin that was once fresh and very useful but having served its purpose, it has gone limp. After the initial mutual exchange of personalities during childhood days, after seeking each other’s company during youth, we may or may not be useful for each other in all times to come.

But deep in our hearts, we still want to believe that old friends are always better than the new. Even after all the years gone, we want to remember only the good in them. The problem with nostalgia is its selectivity. Nostalgia is a file that removes rough edges from the good old days, thus goes the saying. In reality, quite often old friends as well as our old-time relatives we haven’t met for a long time, may continue to be more demanding and less giving…so what if we now met them after many years. There may be too many expectations of loyalty from old timers whereas these values might have died long time back, at the time when we parted from them. Rather, there could be new feelings of insecurity, eg; female friends who get married around the same time, now meeting after say twenty years may end up mutually comparing their marriage or motherhood status, as well as their financial status. Only if their partners and their children get along well can their friendship revive again. Old feelings thus dampen or get deformed.

There are other external factors that may influence our old friendships. When we come across our school time best friends after say two to three decades, we expect them to still be our best friend but possibly they now feel closer to another common friend of ours, or to other members of our family. Even if these new buddies share no common past, but suppose they have common present, and if they all are currently residing in the same city or working in the same institute, their friendship will be more real whereas you are just a part of their memories of bygone times. Eventually, physical proximity maintains old friendships while distance can sadly kill these friendships once again even if we desperately try to revive them. Thus, most equations change after so many years.

More often than not, coming face-to-face with very old friends again may indeed feel like we never ever parted, but sometimes we may instinctively not feel close to them like we did in the past, or when we met them first in life. Some of these old timers will be overjoyed to see us while others feel strange and awkward, esp. on social media where we see them again, and also if we ever meet them in real. That’s because each friendship has a tenure. As if, whatever role they were destined to play in our lives is already over. As if, humans meet to fulfill some karma of give and take, of learning certain life lessons from each other, that of influencing each other’s lives, after which we move on.

Did that sound too heavy? So much for our ‘stale’ mates. Let’s analyse ‘new’ friendships.

New friendships begin on a blank slate. This slate has nothing good or bad already written about our fresh friends; no history, no nostalgia, no fixed impressions about our friends from our previously preconceived memories hence no expectations and no possible disillusionments or heartaches.

New friends are like freshly minted coins, useful in our current day-to-day life. They fit into our immediate environment where we live – our city, our neighborhood, our common children. These are friendships of convenience. There is a practical value sans any real or fake emotions or sentimentalism (as yet).

New friends may in fact end up valuing us more than our old friends. They are happy to have found us, as if we are some new rare discovery. They still have to prove their worth in our eyes so they try hard and never take us for granted. 7aa4bcb4c53602dc55dc24cda7dd6df7What begins as a budding curiosity about each other may slowly open up to unfold like a beautiful fragrant flower.

Another issue is, when we meet people at a very young age, as it happens with our very old time friends, our perceptions might have been somewhat faulty though friendships cute and open. For this reason, when we meet our old friends after a very long time, we find them changed beyond recognition. In comparison, our mature-age new friendships happen when we have seen enough life, when do not open up easily to everyone, so we tend to automatically and instinctively draw only those people into our lives who are good for us and more similar to us. It is due to our life long experience in dealing with people, that we immediately know whom we want or don’t want.

So dear friends (and acquaintances)!!  Old will always remain precious, like diamonds and rare gold. But we also need other metals so as to live in our real world rather than continue to live in a make-believe world of memories. Let bygones be safely kept in the mind’s precious closet!  Do meet them occasionally but not at the cost of your current life, or else you will be living in the past while they have moved on.

And yet, for all practical reasons, if old friends can become a part of your ‘current’ world, your city, your new family. Plus if you happen to get along well in current times, then that’s the best combination, where old timers continue to be our antique treasure but one that is usable and practical.

But here’s the risk! This new process of re-assessing, re-assimilating and re-defining old friendships may seem like starting another round of ‘friendship experiment’ with the very old same people who are/were known to us and yet now seem to be unknown. An experiment that may or may not succeed this time in life.

~~~ ~~~
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Do you agree with my post? Feel free to express your views on this topic, even if you totally disagree with my views.